Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Prepare to giggle -- the 2008 limerick entries!

If you entered the contest, please please please leave a comment telling me which number is yours so I can put your name next to it. I'll even link it to your blog so people can find more of your killer wit....

(In order of entry)

#1 (by Lena)

There was a young man called Obama
Who’s created a whole lot of drama
He’s made Hillary mad
But the media glad
And we all think he has real good karma

#2 (by Lena)

There was a cute single girl (Maisie)
Who kept her breath fresh as a daisy
It made her quite harried
She said “if I married”
I’d eat garlic all day and be lazy

#3 (by D'Arcy)

There once was a young man from Tatooine.
When he got older he married the Queen.
Not too much later,
He became Darth Vadar,
Now everyone thinks that he's mean!

#4 (by Jessica)

There once was a lass called Marie
Who on her blog set up a spree
She offered a prize
For the best pack of lies
Bound up in the form that you see!

#5 (by D'Arcy)

There once was a man named Gerard.
Who Marie thought was the bard.
He wrote in rhythm sprung,
While using the Welsh tongue,
Now he rests in an Irish yard.

#6 (by Gawain)

In truth it is quite reprehensible
That an "ingredient" should be so indispensable
When making some "Irish Stew"
There is only one thing to do
Mix in some wedding vegatables

#7 (by Vesper)

Get this freaking baby out
Is what I always want to shout
He's been in there too long
His kicks are very strong
I'd rather have the gout

#8 (by Gawain)

I still live in mother's home
Nowhere to stretch my legs and roam
No friends can I meet
My head's below my feet
Mayhap I'll be born at gloam

#9 (by April)

There once was a vet named Tom
who hadn't had a good poop since 'Nam.
So he sucked on some prunes
til he felt something brewin'
And he shat an atomic bomb.

#10 (by April)

There once was a lovely librarian
Who fell in love with an au pair, Ian.
She ran off with the manny
And his fantastic fanny
Til she left him for a hot veterinarian.

#11 (by Jessica)

there once was a lass liked a lad
who was truly a terrible cad
she chased him quite gladly
and captured him, sadly
and now he's a husband - and mad!

[Version 2]

there once was a lass liked a lad
who was truly a terrible cad
she chased him quite gladly
and captured him, sadly
and now he's a husband - and dad!


D'Arcy said...

Marie, I am number 3 and number 5. I entered twice as I thought it would improve my chances....and I like rhyming with Gerard!

This was an amazing contest and so fun to keep up with everyone's limericks! In fact this contest, and lame men, have caused me to rant on in poetic form often this past week.

April said...

I wrote #9 and #10. I have no idea where the inspiration came from. I don't normally rhyme about bodily functions. OH! I take that back! Kristen and I *did* come up with a song about a bladder infection! Good times.

Amy said...

These made me laugh out loud. You have friends with some great talent out there.

Gawain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gawain said...

Marie - No, THANK YOU for hosting this delightful contest every year. I love being silly and it gives me a great excuse to pack my journal onto the bus and do something besides read on the way to work.

Gawain #6 (I had to carry on the family torch) and #8 (Yes, you do know just such a fetus...he dictated his entry to me through Vesper's belly button)

Vesper - #7 (Spoken with great ferver)

lenalou said...


I am numbers 1 and 2. This was really fun!

Marie said...

D'Arcy -- Excellent entries, and you even worked "sprung rhythm" in there. Mind you don't steal my poet from me with your superior verse-writing skills. I went to your blog hoping to find some of your ranting in poetic form, but it appears you have failed to put your rants in writing. Please remedy.

April -- I am shocked and appalled and delighted with your entries. I have to say I thought briefly about taking down the 'Nam one, but then I pictured my mother reading it in my Mind's Eye. She laughed first, and then shook her head disapprovingly. Because the laugh came first, I decided it got to stay ('cause the Mind's Eye doesn't lie). And it was funny, y'know, and funny is the ultimate virtue.

Amy -- They are fantastic, aren't they? You should enter next year, because you're hilarious. Thanks for reading!

Gawain & Vesper -- You guys are quite the pair. Of loons. I hope Vesper's cry for help was not genuine -- are you okay, Vesper? Babies are so much better than the gout! Except that the gout doesn't give you a huge belly and swollen ankles and sleepless nights. But other than that, babies are WAY better than the gout! Thank you both for making me laugh.

Lena -- Thanks for blazing the trail. I started to wonder after a few days if I was going to have to enter a few anonymous limericks myself to make it at least LOOK like I had friends :)

April said...

I read it to my aunt first to see if it was too inappropriate, but she laughed, as well. No more poop/'Nam limericks for me, I promise!

Princess Jess said...

I'm #4 and #11 (the only two left unclaimed). I had a hard time not writing something about Dhaka, but it seemed too revealing. However, you've inspired me, and I wrote a few in a boring meeting today: good times. Thanks!

Oh, and while I didn't write it, I thought the Irish Stew was the funniest limerick.

Marie said...

April -- She was right - it was funny. Don't get all prudish on me next year!

Jess -- You're hilarious, and your limerick about writing limericks was in the running until the bitter end. There were some really funny ones that I ruled out because they strayed just a bit too far from the limerick form, including Irish Stew. I'm kind of a rhythm nazi -- when the chorister beats the song wrong my foot gets all twitchy.