Monday, March 17, 2008

Don't pinch me -- I'm Irish!*

1) Massive Celtic pate,** packed with fiddle reels and naughty rhyming couplets.

2) Green eyes.

3) Freckle.

4) Freckle.

5) More freckles.

6) Freckle. Or maybe zit. (Too afraid to zoom in, and I hope you won't, either.)

7) Pasty, pasty white skin.***

8) Freckle created when pasty, pasty white skin encountered five nanoseconds of direct sunlight.

9) Drab brown hair left behind by the little green men who snuck into my bedroom 28 years ago and STOLE my pretty red pigtails as I slept.****

10) [Undisclosed location] Birthmark in shape of four-leaf clover.

11) Freckles lurking beneath my shirt. Multiplying. Ever multiplying.




* Not true.
** Like an orange on a toothpick.
*** Like the flesh of a diseased potato. Makes ya wanna flee to the New World and marry into pigment.
**** One of the saddest nights of my life. I can only hope my stolen hair was used to make little red wigs for little leprechaun chemo patients.

5 comments:

AzĂșcar said...

Ehh, being Irish is overrated.

(said the Welsh girl.)

Hey, It's Ansley said...

I'm part Irish (from my mom) and part Lebanese (from my dad) and I always get frustrated at the Irish part that gave me the pale freckly skin and light brown hair. Oh well, at least science has perfected self-tanners.

D'Arcy said...

I'm Italian for pities sake, so I have no idea where my freckles and rosy cheeks (everyone in Ireland thought I was a regular at the pub....I was, but not for the drinkin!) So many nights I cure my siblings and their dark hair and olive skin!!!!!

D'Arcy said...

I curse my siblings, not cure them, they have olive skin, they need no cure!!! Curses!

April said...

I have the pasty white skin and freckles without the benefit of pretty red hair. :( And I do a terrible Irish accent. It comes out Scottish.