Dare to be stupid.

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"Mmmm....your favorite! A Twinkie-weiner sandwich!"




If you've heard someone say this today, you're either eating dinner at the Utah State Fair....














...or you're at a Weird Al show...






















...or maybe both!











And that was me, lucky lucky me, this weekend at the Weird Al concert!


(No, hold that. Insufficient exclamation markage.)


AT THE WEIRD AL CONCERT ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


It was a pilgrimage like none other: worshiping the goofball god of my youth, rubbing shoulders with my peers...

















...yeah. They pretty much all looked like these little dudes.*



























Go ahead. Judge me. Al and I care not for you snoots and your hoity-toitery. I have loved the frizzed imp for as long as I can remember, and it is a true love, a lasting love. It began with my Dr. Demento obsession, then on to UHF (thin on plot, fat on lunacy), practicing my smooth ballet moves to "Yoda," replaying "Another One Rides the Bus" in my head whenever a wacko sat down next to me on UTA, and breaking out in violent giggling fits whenever I hear the best Weird Al line ever, which is........[drumroll].........















"I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self-service pumps!"**





Anyway, I will try to convey with my concert pictures the glorious apparition that is the spoof-smith, Alfred Matthew Yankovic, at age 47. Before you dismiss him, chew on this: he was valedictorian of his high school class at age 16. You may be classier, you no doubt have much better taste, but you must bow before his uber-nerdity. No doubt his classmates voted him "Most Likely to Achieve Complete World Domination by Age 50."

You'll get there, Al -- never you fear. One pimply 13-year-old fan at a time....









...plus me, of course.




Woo hoo! Polkarama! Nothing brings more joy to the soul than hard rap lyrics + accordions + bubbles! This is my favorite Al polka medley so far.

"Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha? Don't cha?"










Oh, I forgot to mention that he and his band changed costumes for Every. Single. Number. And for "You're Pitiful," he changed outfits during the song. Sadly, my shot of the Spongebob t-shirt, fishnet stockings, and pink tutu getup was too blurry, so I had to steal this picture from another blog. And if you want to see the entire strip tease, here he is performing it in California.

"You're suffering from delusions of adequacy...."
















Bad pickup lines...

"I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl -- so I could see you twice..."
















Gasp! Who'dve guessed Gilligan was GAY?!?

"I'm in love with the Skipper...I'm his little buddy..."













Channeling Eminem...

"Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?"







The saga begins, with full Storm Trooper entourage...

"My, my, this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry -- he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye, saying, 'soon I'm gonna be a Jedi.'"









...of course followed by an accordion rendition of "Yoda"...

"I saw the little runt sitting there on a log -- I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said 'Yoda'...Y O D A, Yoda...yo yo yo yo Yoda..."






















"Well, we don't sound like Madonna
Here we are now, we're Nirvana!
Sing distinctly? We don't wanna --
Buy our album, we're Nirvana!"


















The one that bunched Coolio's panties...

"Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife..."













Resurrecting Donny Osmond's career...

"I'm nerdy in the extreme
Whiter than sour cream
I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was 'Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?'
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
Got my name on my underwear..."













The song that made Jacko a fan...

"When you're only having seconds, I'm having twenty-thirds...when I go to get my shoes shined I have to take their word, because I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know!"


















And that's all, folks. The conga line has exited the stadium. If you suffer withdrawal symptoms upon re-entering your regularly scheduled drudgery, Al recommends wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Or a poodle. Or a poodle in a Hawaiian shirt.



Weird Al at the Utah State Fair: you don't have to like it, but it sure beats raising cattle.






*Except for the elderly couple behind us who told us to stop dancing and sit down. Ol' killjoys.

**Don't overthink that one. You'll regret it. No, really -- don't.