All previous blessedness, plus:
Thanksgiving dinners with complimentary stomach pumping service. Ugh.
Repentance, from gluttony and other failings.
Text recognition software + old newspapers.
Temples, temples everywhere! Coming soon to Rome, and a city near you!
Full beards: finally winning the holy war against goatees.*
The grand feeling of newly-waxed arms. (Don't ask.)
Good, good family. God will surely ask me why I failed to singlehandedly eradicate war and hunger, given my great advantages of birth. I love you, my genetically-similar dearies (and married-into-the-clan dearies).
A long procession of kind and funny and brilliant girlfriends from gradeschool to the present. Not one catty drama addict in the lot. I love you, genetically-dissimilar ladies.
Genetically-dissimilar menfolk, here and there. (Hoping will have more to say on this by next Thanksgiving.)
Bizarre immunity to insomnia. More of a superpower, really: Super Snoozer at your service. I make your problems disappear by teaching you to sleep through them!
Healthy enough to donate blood, but never yet needed any (knock on wood).**
David Brooks, the only newsman I would trust to tell me how to vote. I would also trust him with my infant and the keys to my yacht, if I had either an infant or a yacht.
Triumph, for brilliantly taking on my primary pet peeve, pun intended.
The last person I met at the Halloween party, who was also the first person who understood my costume. Thanks, dude. ***
Googling my friends and finding stuff like this. Yes, I've probably Googled you, too.
Lovely night, and mystic fields with stars bedight.****
* Goatees are the mullets of facial hair, my friends. I'm not saying that a goatee makes you a bad person, but I am saying that you must shave it off for the good of humanity.
** Bloodbanks get desperate during the holidays -- needs go up and donations go way down. Particularly platelet donations, which are only good for five days. So think about it, if you're less than busy this weekend...
*** "Well of COURSE I know what a Jabberwock is! Slithy toves and mome raths and all that. Do you take me for a complete Philistine?"
**** My favorite line from a Thanksgiving song I learned years ago.
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6 comments:
This is an absolutely wonderful list. Particularly loved the thoughtful and entertaining gay marriage editorial by your friend and, or course, the Conan piece.
As I explained to Steve that I thought we must be pretty special to make it onto your list, Steve reminded me that I was only a parenthetical afterthought... what a husband, eh?
We are thankful for you, Marie!
Dearest Amy -- The only reason you're in parentheses is because I was trying to minimize distraction from repetition of the cutesy genetic theme. Basically I sacrificed you for a language gimmick. I am sorry.
Next year Steve's going in the parentheses, if he makes the list at all.
Oh, and for the record, I just deleted the links to the last two Triumph videos. I should have rewatched them before I linked to them -- just as funny as I remembered, but about ten times naughtier. Too naughty to reside in the same post that links to a temple website :)
And I am thanknessful for Marie!
I am so touched! Also, so out of contact with the real world! And so thankful for my Marie! And going to be in a part of the world near you fairly soon! What are you doing around about the New Year?
Have you seen my most recent piece of snark-baiting, which has resulted in actual threats of physical harm by complete strangers?
Sharon -- I'm thanknessful for you, too.
Sophie -- Wow! You got like twelve times more comments than anyone else before they locked the thing down! You have a future in blogging, m'dear. If they don't ask you to join theirs, you need to start your own: the new Carolyn Hax, only edgy. (And I like your pseudonym.) As for visiting -- yes -- come! I will be here for the New Year. My cuz was trying to convince me to come to NYC for New Years, but I'm too smart. And cheap. And un-fond of large crowds.
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