...who have or are planning to abandon me for life on one or other coast. One day soon the ocean levels will rise, and vast hordes of bedraggled urbanites will flee inland, to the mountains. You will be one of them. Please do not pester me with your pleas for shelter -- for you abandoned me.
Love,
Marie
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Dear "friends"
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8 comments:
Tough love. Sometimes it's necessary.
Against my will, I swear! Not that we're anywhere near a coast nowadays...oh well.
I just knew you loved Oregon and might want a reason to visit. See, really, I left UT for you! Come visit!
I thought this was directed at us, until I saw all your other defensive friends posting comments...you have guilted many people well!
I will not abandon you. I am a MUCH better friend than that. :) And I truely believe you would let me drown for abandoning you.
hahaha! this is very funny. But someday, Asia will rule the world and then we'll see who is begging for a little something something.
xo
April -- I'm glad you understand, fellow inlander.
Wynne -- Whatever. You broke my heart. Husband schmusband.
Ansley -- I'm inclined to forgive you....
Amy -- You guys better watch out -- I'm dangerous when scorned. Buy the house and LIVE IN IT. I'm begging you.
Jen -- Maybe THAT'S the reason they keep leaving me -- not because they love the coast but because they fear my wrath? Oh dear. I'm a worse friend than I thought!
Ninny -- I'm sure you're right -- after the great US Inward Migration we'll run out of water and bathroom facilities and have to be airlifed to Asia to beg for mercy from the new Superpowers. Maybe I should be houseshopping in New Delhi instead of SLC?
Umm, head hung in shame, can I still eat at Mazza with you when the floods come? I promise to live in the movie theater bathrooms at the gateway.
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