Friday, October 12, 2007

No...the OTHER football.

Anyone who's known me for more than five minutes knows that I have a special disdain for the sports world. I've written about why I think this is, and I've still got every one of those Issues I mentioned.

However.....last weekend I attended a Real Salt Lake soccer game, and actually had a good time! Good enough that upon leaving I thought, "I really should do that again."

Of course, I need to admit some things, here.

1. The only soccer rules I know are "DON'T touch the ball with your hands" and "DO kick the ball into the opposite goal." So there is a considerable lack of subtlety in my soccer viewing experience.

2. I went with fun people.

3. The players were very good looking.* Especially #6.

So really it's no bigger a triumph than luring my men-in-tights-loathing grandpa to a ballet performance with promises of elegant ladies and comfy chairs. But hey -- it's a start, right? If I concentrate reeeeally hard and faithfully attend my SHA** meetings, perhaps I can achieve a full-blown sports obsession before I die -- a shiny red cherry on my towering Obsession Sundae.***

* Do the pretty boys all choose soccer so they won't have to hide their perfect tresses under a helmet?

** Sports Haters Anonymous

*** Five scoops of "why don't we consult the Internet?," a thick drizzle of "have you noticed the worldwide conspiracy to swap the meanings of it's and its?," a generous sprinkle of "why, oh why, can't I have the chin of a hairless cat?," and a fluffy dollop of "I can only split dessert if you'll let me move half to my own plate."


AzĂșcar said...

Soccer players ARE the hottest; greatest kept secret in the U.S.

That's why I off and married one.

wynne said...

I HAD noticed that about the its and it's, actually. the world doesn't seem to know the difference between a contraction and a possessive. Or a plural, for that matter.

I never noticed about the soccer players, however. I've never even been to a soccer game.

'Ware, Marie. They want you to love them. Look at poor azucar.

RC Cola! said...

It saddens me to see apostrophes be brutalized in ever shape and form nowadays.

I've never been to a soccer game either...unless I count kiddie soccer games, when my brothers played.

RC Cola! said...

Leave it to me to have a typo when I'm talking about apostrophes.

Marie said...

Azucar -- Well, if your husband knows any who are looking for groupies/spouses, send them my way.

Wynne -- I am prepared to love them. I'm prepared to love any man who is vertical and respirating.

RC -- It's okay. I know that your soul is grammatically correct.

AzĂșcar said...

Did I use a semicolon up there? That was a typo, I swear!