Monday, April 23, 2007

Malarkey, nonsense, piffle, poppycock,

Okay, kids -- as you may know, last month we started an informal game of Balderdash (a.k.a. the Dictionary Game) in the comment section of one of my postings. However, it got buried as the new posts piled up, so Wynne requested that we start a new game by giving the game its own posting.

So here we go! Wynne's going to post the first word. If you've never played the game, the point is to make up a fake definition for the word that is convincing, or funny, or both. In the real game you would also get points for knowing the real definition, but that doesn't work well online since it's so easy to Google a word, so we'll just do bogus definitions. Post as many definitions as you like for each word. Feel free to post a definition on any past word that strikes your fancy, even if the person who chose the word has already revealed the true meaning. Also feel free to post your own word once the previous word has had a couple of responses. No points -- just a special commendation to the first person to make a reader blow milk out their nose.

So put on your B.S.-ing caps and get goofy!

P.S. I'm going to add a "Balderdash" link in the sidebar that will take you directly to this posting when it's been buried by other posts.


wynne said...

Hooray, hooray, HOORAY!!! Thanks, Marie.

And the first word is:

wynne said...

And, to make this needlessly complicated, and just in case you didn't like the first word, here's another:


Anonymous said...

this is cool. i saw your game on wynne's blog.

you cracked me up when i read the blow milk out the nose thing. i actually did that one time last year, first time in my life one night at dinner around the table with the husband and teens. i never thought that was REALLY possible until that night. it was so funny, but it hurt, too :( lol

okay ... famulus = a migrant mule suffering from a skin condition

jorum = when a jury is in a deadlock decision

he he he ... this was fun ... looking forward to more.

greetings from anchorage alaska by the way :)

chicky said...

famulus (plural- famuli)

the long protrusion to which a snail's eye is attached

Marie said...

Hey Grateful & Chicky -- you're good at this -- thanks for playing!

So my question is -- do we have a word for an *American* mule suffering from a skin condition? If not, why not?

Anonymous said...

hi marie: oh, you made me laugh with your comment about my mule. thanks for the chuckle. sure, we have an american mule with a skin condition. her name is fluffy. he he

happy day to you there :)

Anonymous said...

Famulus - harmful film growing over the eyes from too much genealogical research (they gave a class on prevention at Marie's work)

Jorum - Swedish jock strap

-Sharon (password still not recognized)Help.

Marie said...

Ooooh, Sharon. Emerging as a serious contender. I love the Swedish jock strap. Tell me -- how is a Swedish jock strap different than a regular one? Bigger? Blonder?

I'm sorry-- can't help you with the login problem. Why would it work last week and not now? Because Blogger is evil, that's why.

Okay, I have rubbed the famulus from my bleary eyes and here are my definitions.

famulus (noun): congestive disorder resulting from prolonged exposure to bad pop music

jorum (noun): a congregation of twelve sea cucumbers

Pandy said...

The famulus is the longest toe (or talon?) of a dove.

A jorum is one of the tiny wooden people in/on a cuckoo clock. Often seen dancing.

Belladonna said...

Famulus - the sticky tissue attached to seeds inside a pumpkin

Jorum - a sudden drop of barometric pressure

Sarah said...

Famulus: the combination of being both famished and glamourous to achieve star-status (see Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Nicole Richie, etc.)

Jorum: Barney the Dinosaur's prefered alcoholic beverage.

Marie said...

Funny bunnies falling from the sky! My tummy hurts from trying to not laugh out loud at work. You guys are brilliant.

Is it time to reveal the True Meanings, Wynne? I will let you decide when to move on to the next word.

Anonymous said...

oh, i thought of another fun definition for famulus. can i still get another entry in?

famulus = the slimy mucus in the back of one's throat and nose when one is suffering from a sinus infection

he he yicky but still he he

wynne said...

This is good stuff. Very good thing I wasn't drinking milk while I was reading this.

Okay, real definitions? It may be one of the following...

1. An assistant, especially of a medieval scholar or sorceror
2. A relatively small oject of artistic value, such as a figurine, vase, etc.
3. Mass of gray matter involved in the transmission and integration of extrasensory perception

1. Swedish chef's middle name
2. A large drinking bowl
3. A woman's long riding coat, with a cape, worn in the 18th century

Next word? Anyone can submit it--just open your dictionary to a random page and start skimming...

Marie said...

I'm guessing a famulus is grey matter and a jorum is a drinking bowl. Am I right?

Here's a word I liked:


Anonymous said...

i thought i was gray matter? :)

hey, i really did do that laughing choking hard with milk out my nose moment for the first time one time this past year at the dinner table with the family. it was soooo funny, but it hurt, too. but worth it for the hilarious memory.

here's my attempt at your answers. f=3 and j=2

i didn't look anything up. these are total guesses.

peace :)

Anonymous said...


wheeples wobble but they don't fall down! he he. i couldn't resist and yep, i know it really is a weeble.

only definition ...

wheeple = the thin white outer skin found on an orange once you have peeled it. wheeple.

tootles :)

Pandy said...

Famulus- 1, jorum-3.

Just guesses.

wheeple -a small, irritating insect that buzzes around your head, trying to make its way into your nostril. (then some unpleasant egg-laying in the brain occurs)

wynne said...

n. Crossbreed between a whippet and a steeple. Makes a friendly, furry, and stationary pet that prefers to sit on top of church buildings.

v. to direct another being, esp a spouse or pet, by grasping the nose and pointing the face in the direction desired.

n. [Slang, UK] Big boot. e.g., Wow, check out the wheeples on her!

sharonsfriendjen said...

Wheeple: The tip of an iceburg, metaphorically speaking of course.

Anonymous said...

"wow, check out the wheeples on her!" he he. thanks for the laugh! :)

Carvel/Dad said...

The word is taraxacum. About 36 years ago I defined it somewhate like this: Anciently there was a two-wheeled conveyance called a taraxa, pulled by 1 person. Designed to carry 1 or 2 persons. Patrons would hail the puller by calling out, "Taraxa, come!"

Marie said...

Good one, Dad! However, I suspect it was invented to impress some girlie at a party, else how would you remember it so clearly after so long? "About 36 years ago" would have been your single days. Come on -- fess up.

Jen -- I plan to use your definition of wheeple. It's such a waste of syllables to say "it was just the tip of the iceberg." I am looking forward to the day when I can turn to someone I dislike and say, "your whining is just the wheeple." Oh yeah -- a smackdown's only half a smackdown if it's unfunny.

Marie said...

I can see why Pandy and Wynne are friends -- completely nuts. I'm especially glad to know the name for the cuckoo clock people and those strange dogs that sit on church houses.

Welcome back, Belladonna! I bet you're the undefeated Balderdash champion in your family. Your definitions are clever, and yet strangely possible, somehow...good thing we're not playing this for points, or you'd blow us all out of the water.

Belladonna said...

I just got home from my mountain retreat. On Thursday night a bunch of the folks attending the retreat (all college instructors) sat around playing Balderdash with me. I admit I blatantly stole several of the definitions from here...

The cuckoo clock people one was a hit. Also the bird toe one.

As for Wheeples, isn't that the gord covering that Amazonian indian men wear to cover their genitals? I believe I remember learning about that one in my Anthro class is grad school.

Anonymous said...

i am still chuckling over the "wow, look at the wheeples on her!" i almost used this in a conversation yesterday, but then didn't have the nerve to shock a mormon woman, so i held back :)

maybe i will have more nerve next time. thanks for the laugh :) kathleen

wynne said...

Real definitions update: don't know if anyone still cares, but

famulus, 1
jorum, 2

(So everyone who guessed got one right--hooray!)

And taraxacum?
1. Refers to sticky coating on movie theatre floors after it has reached a 30 year maturation date (sorta like the diff between "wine" and "grape juice"--?)
2. Headache centered in the frontal lobe, frequently accompanied by symptoms of squeamishness, uncontrollable fidgeting, and fits of "the giggles." Believed to be caused by prolonged exposure to one's mother-in-law.
3. Tahitian swear word. Literally translates as "pig button."

Marie said...

Pig button?? Are your definitions strictly drug-free, Wynne? Or too much mother-in-law exposure?

My definitions of taraxacum:

(noun): a secular method of exorcism in which the demon is driven out by tickle-torture

(noun): an ancient Roman yo-yo constructed from pig sinews and the ears of defeated gladiators

Pandy said...

taraxacum- the type of paint used on roses.

Marie said...

Pandy must be a fellow Alice fan!

"We're painting the roses red -- not pink, not green, not aquamarine -- we're painting the roses red (with taraxacum)!"

Anyone got a new word?

Anonymous said...

how about? ...

taraxacum = a middle eastern vaccuum cleaner with a unique filtering device for sand particles

~chow :) kathleen

Marie said...

This wondrous vacuum -- does it suck up the sand and leave everything else, or suck up everything except the sand?

It would be fun to see what's at the bottom of a sand dune.

Here's a new word:


Anonymous said...

just more sand! or a door to a parallel universe. he he.

chanking =
(n) the section of a saddle where your foot goes into.

(v) teasing, ribing someone.

~happy saturday :) kathleen

wynne said...

n. The sound of dry bones colliding.
n. The King of the Chan. (See chan: a tribe of dormice of S. Asia distinguished by their pink fur and love of Kool-Aid)
n. Chain mail curtain that covers the groin area on a French suit of armor of the 16th century.

We need definitions for "wheeple" and "taraxacum" don't we?

Anonymous said...

wynne: i love the chain mail definition. i am picturing this.

i used that line "check out the wheeples on her" with my teen daughters the other day because of you. my teens and i love to horse around about girl subjects at times. like going to the ob/gyn/doc yesterday was sooo much fun with them.

it's all good. ~peace :) kathleen

Marie said...

taraxacum: dandelion (scientific name)

wheeple: to whistle poorly
(Borrowed by English from a Scots word that just meant to whistle -- I guess this means that the snotty English didn't think the Scots whistled properly, imperialist snobs!)

I will come up with a definition of chanking, but I need to get to work at the moment. And if anyone has a new word in the meantime -- please throw it out there!

Anonymous said...

okay, how about this new word?


Marie said...

chanking: toxic industrial waste incidental to Spam production

imbricate: to accuse, especially by embroidering a letter on the accused's clothing (e.g. "A" for "appalling," "I" for "imbecilic," "X" for "xtra xasperating")

Anonymous said...

imbricate: (v) to coat with mortar all the contact areas around bricks (i.e., when building a brickwall).

wynne said...

Sometimes the real definition exceeds all my expectations. Wheeple! Really! That's marvelous!

And I never knew that Hester Prynne had been imbricated. So neat how you learn something new every day! And toxic waste is generated by spam production? Of course!

Kathleen, I would've voted for the brick wall def.

imbricate v. To suggest that you have a liver complaint.

wynne said...

Next word for those who are willing:


Marie said...

Am I the last one here?

If I post a definition and no one responds, will I look pathetic?

Oh well. I AM pathetic.

naos: (noun) the weird-looking nose-like thingy that Michael Jackson smells with

naos: (noun) an advanced hula dance move designed to give a quick peek behind the grass skirt; in modern hula, the naos is frequently used for subliminal product placement

wynne said...

I like the Michael Jackson reference.

And I don't think you're pathetic. (Not that that means much coming from me).

Marie said...

Aw, that's nice.

If it's just the two of us left, how would YOU define naos? If this things gonna fizzle, we should go out with a Wynne-er (har har).

Greg Kinnear said...

naos - (noun) A neolithic mouse of significant proportions.

Marie said...

Oh, wow! Greg Kinnear on my blog! I love you, man. You're so funny.

Besides being of significant porportions, does this naos have other unusual characteristics? Like maybe tusks? Or horns? I hope they are fully extinct. Down with rodents of unusual size.

Greg Kinnear said...

The naos was nenowned for having an extremely large head in comparison with its body. In fact, often times its head lagged behind while the rest of its body scrambled to drag the weight along.

wynne said...

Was that really Mr. Kinnear?

That's what I get for slacking off on Balderdash, folks!

Now, where the heck were we?

wynne said...

Greek for "Not in my house, you don't!"; usually followed by a smack upside the head.


The art of nose-picking.

(Though I must say the image of that mouse dragging his head along...ha.)

Marie said...

It's creepy when dead posts come back to life. Are you sure you want to do this, Dr. Franken-wynne?

I love the "not in my house" plus smack -- busy mothers must save syllables whenever possible. :)

The mouse definition was by my cooky cousin. If you want to play again, I bet he'd love to join in....

Anonymous said...

wynne: i love that smack upside the head comment of yours :)

wynne said...

Bring out your dead!

Y'know, maybe what we ought to do (not right now, of course, 'cause I am officially "not blogging"--this is a comment, not a blog, and this is not really here, it is merely a figment of your imagination)--we ought to resurrect this sucker. Start over with a brand-spanking new post, and suck your newest readers into the game.

Maybe January or something, hey?

Especially if other celebrities start showing up. That could be lots o' fun.

wynne said...

I call dibs on Paris Hilton. And Michael Jackson. Aaaand...who else would be fun to have make up definitions for me? Hmm...oh! Vincent Price, back from the dead!

I'm going to be collecting words for the next few months to get ready for this. (That is, if you want to do it. I'm sure I won't have to twist your arm.)

Marie said...

Oh, I"m totally for it. But you have a novel to finish first, young lady. Type! Type like the wind!

I'll see you in December, at which point I will have to address you as The Authoress.

Marie said...

HEY KIDS! We've started a new Balderdash game in a new post. Click here to play!