Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Flight of the Easter* Vultures.

On my way to church Easter Sunday I saw ten deer. Happy Easter! they seemed to say as they paused all full of life and spring, a-fattening themselves on lush cemetery grass fed by the dead. I don't think the dead minded, except perhaps the ticklish dead.

On my post-church Easter Sunday walk through the city cemetery I saw that brightly-colored lollipops had been stuck in the ground around one headstone, like candy flowers. I walked over for a closer look and saw that enterprising ants had determined to not let all that sugar go to waste. Happy Easter! they seemed to say as they swarmed over the sweet engraved face of the baby girl, eating her treats. I don't think she minded -- those ants were pretty fun to watch.

On my way home from the cemetery I saw ten huge birds gliding in a whirlpool formation. I followed them as they drifted eastward, silver wing feathers shining the evening light. Noble eagles! I thought. What a glorious and inspiring Easter vision!** I eventually tracked them to two huge trees in the yard of a stately home. Vultures. The original ten vultures plus seven more of their vulturey friends. I'm not sure why seventeen vultures chose to ominously descend upon the richest part of the richest neighborhood in town, but I do hope that whatever individual at 1288 East 3rd Avenue is dead (physically or otherwise) provided a splendid Easter feast for those magnificent birds. I don't think he minded, whoever he was.***

The Moral (yes, my child -- everything has a moral):

The death of one feeds the life of another; all things in nature are types of Christ and his cause. He puzzled the faithful and scared away the faithless with his talk of cannibalism, but cannibalism is what he demands we believe in: every Sunday he puts us at the top of the spiritual food chain, lays himself down on the table, and dares us to believe that we eventually are what we eat. All death gives life, however undeserved. The purest death, offered as a gift, gives the purest life, however undeserved.

Jesus loves the deer and the ants and the vultures, and so he feeds them on you. But most of all he loves you, and so he feeds you on himself.

Happy Easter.

* So I missed the boat by a couple days: computer's still possessed. Apparently the universe wants me to spend more time taking walks through the cemetery and spend less time blogging about it.

** I still am occasionally guilty of confusing patriotism with religion -- embarrassing, but true. I tried to have it surgically removed, but it appears that they missed a bit.

*** 'Tis economical, if nothing else. You gotta sell your soul for a plot in that cemetery – far more costly than a stately home in the Avenues (these days you can't even give those away).


citymama1 said...

That was disturbingly inspiring. Happy belated Easter!

Leah Z said...

I wish you had a column in The New Yorker.

Anonymous said...

Happy Easter. Thanks for posting again. What are vultures doing in the avenues?

Carvel said...

If I write a letter to the editors of the Deseret News & the S.L. Tribune about those vultures near the heart of Zion, do you suppose either or both papers would print it?
But I don't have a clue as to how I would approach the subject, whether as a complaint to the city government, or as this event being a humorous sign that some of those rich Avenues folks are very sick physically, or.... what?
But I can tell you this, with full authority: As falls Wichita, so falls Wichita Falls! (and, moistness will eventually triumph!!)

Marie said...

Citymama -- Thanks (I think) :)

Leah -- Wow! That might be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me...[cue delusions of grandeur].

Anonymous MEH -- Your guess is as good as mine. I can only assume they are doing what God has charged them to do: 1) find rotten stuff and 2) eat it. I wonder if dead rich people perhaps taste better than dead ordinary people?

Dad -- You're nuts. Crazy like a condor! And don't tell the papers about it: think how upset the richies would get if the masses descended on their quiet lane. We would un-exclusive it in five minutes. There goes the neighborhood.